Dickson & Michelle

Saturday, May 19, 2007

well well.. a mixture of feelings now.. feeling satisfied, unhappy, frustrated, proud.. Contradicting? well i'll explain..

Satisfied + proud.. :
I went to Dragon Boat training yesterday after much persuasion from Hanxiang.. I took up the challenge and decided to push myself.. It was really really terrible.. it was harsh.. pump and crunch, run a round of the school, climb 9 storeys stairs for 3 times(that makes 27 storeys) .. pull up.. i pushed and pushed.. broke down halfway through the training..

They gave a break and everyone rushed towards the tap to drink..(yup it's tap, for washing legs, what do you expect, when you are thirsty, u would even drink mud) .. i walked over, looked at the tap.. and couldnt drink at all.. just stood and stared at the tap.. was breaking down.. hyperventilation.. breathed heavily with tears in my eyes.. controlled.. didnt want to shed any tears.. suddenly Edwin appeared and tried to calm me down.. and the Physical Trainin In Charge came over and talked to me.. talking to me about respect.. that people will respect me through the things i do.. that people will respect me doing this.. and i calmed down..

By the time i was so weak, i couldnt even have the strength to press the tap to drink.. Pathetic? it's true.. i couldnt press the tap.. well.. carried on with summore harsh training and finally they teached rowing.. it took only 5 mins.. and the feeling after training when everyone went into the pool was Great.. Great Great Great.. Really felt a sense of accomplishment.. Really.. Being able to complete the whole training was really a Great accomplishment to me..

So many times.. i wanted to just walk away and go home.. but "Mind over Body" keeps haunting me.. There was once when i told the IC i couldnt tahan.. and he asked me "So how? canot tahan? you want to go home ? or stay?" .. I felt like shouting at his face and say Go Home.. But i dont know what made me say "I'll Stay".. Could be the encouragement from the whole team.. When i couldnt climb the stairs .. how they cheered me on, how they clapped for me when i was the last to reach the level.. Great People =)

Anyway.. Thanks Edwin =) ..

Well i woke up today without the ability to brush my teeth.. whole body was numb.. even now as i'm typing.. i have never felt so physically weak before.. never ever.. i cant take off my shirt.. i cant raise my hand.. i cant get up from bed(I got up today by rolling off the bed) .. Seriously.. hmm..

Well.. Today had a class outing .. sort of.. went to Orchard to look at a road show for FMM e learning.. needa answer the questions about the roadshow.. everything went ok.. Except when the last part where all said wanted to play pool at cine and in the end all went home =.= ..

Reached home and realized that my family had went to Fish and Co without me.. It was to celebrate last week's Mother's Day and it was supposed to be tomorrow.. So why did they go without me? Frustrated and unhappy.. very very.. so what if they dabao crab for me? they know i dun eat crab? haha? it's not about the food man.. How many times do my family get to go out for a meal as a WHOLE family now? like how many times? in the past it happened almost every week.. now.. shit.. mum and dad separated... how many times do i even have a meal with any of my parents now? haha.. practically eating maid's cooking at home at home everyday most of the times alone and sometimes with my bro or sis.. bahhh...

My Body is Aching.. It's telling me it needs the bed..
And poor pig wife is sick too.. takkaire okaes! LOTS OF LOVE! MUACKS! ^^
BYE..

| a simple day. 2:59 pm
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